Dates: Are they for fun, for working people out or both?

So I was watching the very popular backchat on YouTube and this week started off with paying on the first date, but with most things, spins off into something in topic but different. From expectations, to tests it really made me think about dates. I’ve been out of the dating scene for about 3 or so years but when I look back I wonder what I was actually dating for. I think it was to get to know people but now I think I would just do it to have fun and whatever happens happens. I mean it’s easy for me to say that I’m taken 😂.

When I think of dates though a mixture of things come to mind, the typical American style montage of one guy or one woman going on a range of dates with weird and wonderful characters and at the end being exhausted until they mistakenly find the one (that’s the earliest form of dating I met and probably the only one I’ve been taught of). There’s also dating to court to find ‘the one’ and now it seems to either off-pant (have sexual relations) or get a free meal. Is that a sign of the economic times  or just women doing what men have done for centuries, getting what they want out of a situation.

Anyway, I wanted to look at a more I guess fairytale aspect, of just having, fun. As someone in a relationship my thoughts when we go out is to do something fun and enjoyable and within our somewhat tight for now budget. So in the fun some sort of conversations happen. I think from there you learn about likes, dislikes and so on and so forth. So I wanted to bring that to you guys. As (what kept being mentioned in the show) it’s 2016 and shit just seems to be going wrong, why doesn’t many (if any) one just message an interest with “hey, do you want to go go-karting” or “I’ve been meaning to ask you out for a while now do you want to go to a tango lesson I think it’ll be fun”. You may hate it but it’s something you wanted to try and you tried it and it may create a memory you look back at and laugh at together or separately. Money pending I always think about going horse-riding. Brenda seems to want to rekindle her love for it and it seems like a good idea (I just don’t want to fall and bruk back because I still kick ball) but it should be fun. Ice-skating (can’t skate for shit but should be funny, maybe not fun). Winter wonderland for a ngl lipsing nah I kid I kid. But something that you want to do, you imagine it’s fun but you wouldn’t want to do yourself.

Wowcher and groupon always have ideas (I also know some of you want to impress so you can always find an idea there then pay full price when you get there. I mean if stunting or being stunted upon means that much). We did mini gold actually because of a groupon, it was a lot more fun that expected, I think it’s a one off thing for us but I enjoyed it. It was on the outskirts of London ended up being a bit kiddie but it was still cool. Maybe it was the company. We also do the dinner date but we did this dinner theatre thing in London Bridge, they try to play recent films, and you get a hot meal, I mean it’s no nandos tgi’s or shard but it was cosy and nice.

Clay shooting, archery, cooking classes, dance classes, quad biking, a jazz night, paintballing (that would be an interesting first date, don’t know if it would work with 2 people, it’ll be interesting to see if your date saves you or tried to shoot you up. I guess offering to pay isn’t the only way you can find out if he’s a gentlemen) fly boarding for you (kind of sort of crazy) adrenaline junkies out there.
(Do you know what I’ve convinced myself to do some of these things, I’ll let you know how it goes). There’s lots of food places wineries and new restaurants doing tasters and what not. Or (again not sure about a first date) but driving and eating in the car. We all know about those legendary car conversations, they can be both deep and fun. Maybe there’s something there?

I think there’s lots to do. It’s 2016, it’s going into a new year, after the stresses we’ve had do our dates have to be another one. Let’s just have some fun

Can sports brands do more to be sustainable?

2 European football powerhouses; Real Madrid and Bayern Munich agreed to wear football kits made entirely of recycled materials. In collaboration with the brand Parsley, Adidas have created a kit made entirely of plastic waste from the ocean. They are also looking to create trainers out of the same material. Also,creating a sustainable kit, Nike (I know shocking) with Barcelona’s third kit made entirely of recycled materials. It shows that they can make a lot of their stock (if not all of their sports kit) out of recycled material. They just choose not to.

In a world where profit is everything and fashion is continuously changing its put the world in a dangerous place. Fashion the second biggest contributor to pollution in the world as well as contributor to the tumbling decline in wage pay and staff safety in developing countries as well as working with people who use child labourers, fashion as fun as it can be definitely comes with its negative effects. As brands Adidas and Nike by changing how they operate can probably have a massive effect on a lot of the issues the world has faced. Imagine for every damaged air max 90 (they like to fall apart for some reason) you can send back to be recycled into more or for every Adidas original tracksuit that got to small could be sent back to make a new another Adidas original apparel. If they paid fairly and made sure that the factories that created their clothes would loose deals if there staff did not work in decent working environments and had basic human rights.

Imagine if the home kits of some of the world’s most powerful sports teams in the globe where sustainable and didn’t change every year but if they were fans were able to  be send back old kits to be made into new ones (I still have an Arsenal JVC shirt that won’t fit somewhere). What if they just decided to work with young innovative students doing projects to help them remain profitable but reduce their carbon impact that they have on the earth.

But we can’t just leave it to the sporting powerhouses. From the new balances (who are by definition I guess technically an ethical brand) to puma being ethical or sustainable isn’t at the top of their lists, but you ethical sports start-ups or people looking to startup companies, why don’t you monopolise where the large companies lack? Whether it’s the cotton you use, the workers you pay or the jobs you create, why don’t you create a sporting brand that not only adds something to the market but benefits the planet too. You could create clothing, gear anything you put your mind to, and build where they lack.

We came for the movies but we’re staying for the originals

It’s weird. When I signed up to Netflix (yeah I actually pay I don’t have it in me to make multiple emails to keep creating free accounts it’s too long fam) I was expecting to be greeted with a mass amount of movies. Clearly the company changed it’s direction unless it was always the plan to sucker us in with films and deliver some good TV series. Amazingly good stuff on there, I am happy but surprised.

Netflix’s making a murderer

 

I think in terms of films its major strength is documentaries. I aim to get multiple documentaries on there myself one day as it’s almost a badge of honour. They have high quality feature lengths on there that are extremely gripping and telling (Virunga, Audrie and Daisy, prescription thugs etc). The vast range of documentaries on there that just tell amazing stories taking you on a journey with real relatable people, whose characters you quickly fall in love with. It’s become my personal library to learn from. What keeps me there though is the shows.

Hard hitting Netflix documentary on drug addiction in the US

 

I would first like to say this. If you don’t watch stranger things your missing out. How this was not made before or made it onto any network television I don’t know. I binged it like hell, the children who play the main roles on that show and the story-line is amazing. When it ended I become ‘any more episodes meme’. I wanted more. This lust for more entertainment has become a constant them for me. Making a murder was gripping and chilling and confusing to the point that I look for updates on the case. I think beast of no Nations speaks for itself in it’s accolades then you have shows like sense8 (watch it) Narcos (watch it) better call Saul (I hate spin offs but they did well with this, you like breaking bad? Like Saul? Watch it) Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and in particular the very dark daredevil (please of your not going to watch the others give this one a chance, especially if you love a good fight scene). The storytelling, the cinematography and the just general feel to binge watch these shows and others create is out of this world. I haven’t even mentioned the Get Down yet or other shows that have now become originals. I think they even have highly rated anime on there (seven deadly sins) that I have been hearing good things about.

Netflix’s Stranger things

 

It has it’s flaws in some of it’s content but what channel doesn’t? I don’t think many channels can keep as many people hooked and as entertained as Netflix.

 

Not bad for a site people put so people can hear something in the background whilst having sex…

3 years with the money muncher

It’s weird, when we started this relationship; it started on camera, for the nation to see. A documentary portrayed her as a serial money grabber and me the poor guy being blindly in-love whilst she was robbing me. When I look back it at I find everything interesting, particularly that documentary. They made that narrative – to obviously bring in the viewers but they didn’t show how a mixture of their filming techniques and her desire to not be a ‘burden’ on me caused her to have a panic attack at work.

She tries her best for me. She tries her best for herself. She’s a fighter. She’s a lover. She can be funny. She can be corny. She’s very much ride of die. She’s Brenda.

In the 3 years we’ve really still been learning about each other (I mean I’ve just learned about her love language a couple of weeks ago lol)(side note- find out your partners love language a lot of things would make sense, find out your own too) but it’s been quite a journey so far, I loved the highs and gained strength during the lows and we’ve really been through it all. She’s my biggest supporter (her continuous campaigning for the 1500 and counting film campaign) my mentor on life and business and is always looking out for me. She notices things about that nobody else notices, and I couldn’t be happier than when I am with her.

She was with me when I lost a close friend to cancer, she was with me when I could of potentially been diagnosed with Diabetes and she was with me through my anxiety counseling, my graduation and my first holiday without the family. I appreciate all her gifts (like my graphics tablet that I can’t stop using), her guidance, her soul and her love. I appreciate all she does and tries to do for me.

 

I hope for many more years with Beautiful Brenda.

 

Happy Anniversary

Callum Wilson – A bit under the radar

When I saw this guy last year before his unfortunate injury, I thought he would notch up 15-20 goals. He started with a bang. I think Bournemouth missed him last season and I’m glad they stayed up. I feel Eddie Howe is a good manager, his team plays well and he has a real gem of a striker.

I think after the injury he had, the main thing is what would his return be like. We have seen many premier league players hit a rich patch of form and then after injury not be quite the same. He started this season so well. His start this season is less of a bang than last season; he’s working his way in, but he still showing the qualities of a premiere league striker. No surprise the rejected a bid from West ham for him and Ritchie.

I’ve been watching him in the games Bournemouth feel they can win (when their striker isn’t a lone figure up front) and one thing that stands out is his movement. It’s effective. He has a decent near post run and he’s not afraid to attack it. He’s a decent header of the ball as Hull City found as the tinniest steps backwards left him free to head in. In and around the box he’s a menace, he holds the ball, he’s not afraid to take people on and make things happen, and he can hit them. With the players around him particularly King, Ibe, Cook and the rejuvenated Stanislas, he could be a real threat to other teams this season. Bournemouth may have a quite stable season in the top flight, but I believe the big man upfront will shine at the end.

#1500andCounting: A documantary Highlighting Police Brutality in the UK

Recently Journalist Lee Jasper picked up the story of Sarah Reed. The family of Sarah Reed desperate to find out what happened looked to mainstream press to generate publicity, but had been told by the press told that the ‘Ministry of Justice had instructed the press not to report’.

Sarah reed was caught in a police Brutality storm 4 years ago, which many people do not know of. This year she was found dead in her cell. She was transferred from a mental health facility to prison after defending herself from an attempted rape. The police claims she had strangled herself whilst laying on her bed which from all accounts appears an almost physical impossibility. This incident happened in London.

Sarah Reed’s case has many similarities with Sandra Bland’s in the USA.

Sarah Reed

Earlier last Year (2015) in Scotland, family man Sheku Bayoh, was killed by the police. The Sierra Leonean man who died on a pavement in Kirkcaldy, Fife, minutes after being detained by police in May. One of the officers involved has been outed as a violent racist by his family members. His case is currently being investigated.

 

 

Untitled

23. He was only 23. On the 23rd I went to see my friend who was suffering from bowel cancer. He looked like everything I feared. It wasn’t how I wanted to see him and it always plagues my mind.

Him laying there. Struggling to breathe and having to use a machine. He suffered a stroke just on the Friday. He couldn’t move one side of his body.

 

He still managed to fist bump me which meant so much because it meant he was still him. But the fact that he could only communicate puting his thumb up or down made for hard viewing. I was told he had 24 hours. But seeing him responding gave me a flicker of hope.

 

Christmas Eve morning he was gone. Here today, in a better place tomorrow. I managed to text him here and there and call but I could only visit him the day before his death. I text him that I was going to see him on those one of those 2 days. The 23rd or the 24th. I managed the first. If I didn’t I would not have seen him at all. I had been so engulfed in my retail work that I almost missed my best friend on his death bed.

I would not of started filming of it wasn’t that man. I would not of been nominated for an award, I wouldn’t of won an award I wouldn’t of driven so many stories in moving picture. It was all because he had implanted an idea. An idea that was a secret talent. I was looking forward to bringing him back into video as he was settling in a new job at the time. But I no longer can. The VA name we both started together will now only carried by myself.

My whole being has changed this past week. I can’t think properly. My eyes well up but struggle to burst at random moments. I can’t do mind numbing things or anything fun because I feel in procrastinating. I can’t sit on the computer and do the media stuff I love because it isn’t perfect and it frustrates me. I’ve only been able to cry once in the cold in Trafalgar Square in the arms of my other half and even though the tears felt like a release that day I don’t feel released. I still feel pent up sadness, rage, confusion, sickness. I feel physical sick. I remember how I saw him literally on his death bed and I felt sick. I struggled to breathe.

Talking to people is the hardest part. My mum thinks it’s Gods will my dad thinks of conspiracy theories. My brother rightly put I HAVE to do VA now and my sister cries more than I’ve done. My girlfriend is focusing so hard on making me happy and I don’t even know what I want to be anymore what I want to feel anymore. The conversations at work are painful because they want to get out of the conversations quicker than I do. I can’t get through to his older brother; he’s being strong for everyone else, whilst I’m here being happy and strong for everyone else. I can’t be sad or unhappy. It’s New Years it’s Christmas. I’m not his direct family so it’s selfish that I feel like this and his family and the ones directly suffering but he was more family than some of my actually family.

I can’t even explode because it’s unfair on my 2 younger siblings.

I can’t do anything. I can’t feel. When I want to the world won’t let me and when the world lets me I won’t allow myself to. That doesn’t make sense but that’s how it feels.

He was 23. I met him at Uni he was always around my flat he even slept on my floor in the sleeping bag he loved so much.

He was always thinking of others. He was a better man than I was yet he’s in another place and I’m here confused as what to do trying to pretend I’m only for everyone’s benefit including my own but it’s not working. And the feels won’t come out. It starts the sucks itself back in. I know I’m hurting but I struggle to feel it and I know I’m in pain but I struggle to show it.

Today is New Years. Cutting through the happy memories is the image of him on the 23rd. Images I want to forget and push back but I can’t because it haunts me and reminds me of my failures of not being able to see him.

I’m struggling and I’m confused. I just want peace.

 

I hope you’re resting in piece Ricardo Brown. An inspiration to me. A wonderful human being to many. And we may not have said it as often as we should of, we loved you.

 

RIP.

Empathy not sympathy: racism is more than what you think.

People don’t know acts of racism. I realised that today. People are always comparing race to their other problems (I don’t know why we are even comparing problems but there you go) and today was another example. Comments on a talk show was made today by a black women on TV about weight and people felt it was okay to compare it to racism.
Wait. Pause. And lol. Whether she was right or wrong there’s no way you can compare it. These people are demanding we “research about the facts and figures about weigh hate” but I feel if they did they’re own research they would not be comparing it to race.

They see race as an direct attack through the looks of your skin via the word nigga/nigger. I realised today. For members of the public that is how far racism goes. And as fat/skinny/obese people get called names, and suffer it’s the same right?

Let’s update you on racism. Just a little bit on it. 

In your current situation do you have to/thought about instructing your child on how to act around the police?

In your current situation do you feel your name may be a hinderance in getting your dream job?

Did any people get killed in the masses  for looking the way they did?

Hung? Shot? 

Do people in your situation worry if they’re child comes out the colour of skin as you, they will suffer the same or a worse consequence?

Do you get questions based on your appearance if you’ll be able to take orders and are you manageable?

Has a whole other group of people of different appearances singled you out of getting jobs?

Have they claimed you eat animal food?

Are you women subjects to a fetish or taster course? Something people want to try?

Is the hair that’s grown out of their hair seen as untamed?

What the majority of answers are no? And I haven’t even “gone in”? Madness, but your quick to compare.

Then when people are explaining why you’re reaching for the fucking stars you want to come with no it all arrogance? Nah it doesn’t work like that my friend. Develop the empathy skills. Learn to understand. We don’t want your sympathy. Those “ahh I feel for you, bless you cotton socks” sympathetic people. Listen and understand. Are struggles aren’t the same. It’s wrong to compare. Just listen and understand.

And before you spew your “mightier than though, top of the class” bull, do your research.

Identity crisis 101 – black British

“If I was in America I would tell them I was from England, if I was in London I would say I’m Nigerian”.

I went to a screening for someone’s dissertation and for me it was a real eye opener. I was the only Ghanaian (or person of Ghanaian decent) in the room amongst a group of Nigerians debating on a movie (I forgot the name of the movie, I think it was gone too far, it’s a good watch, deep stuff in there) but I found similarities in their stories, and how we identify was the biggest one.

As an African of lighter skin tone, it was easier for me to say I was Ghanaian that my darker skinned brothers and sisters, I never got called an “African boo boo” or anything of the sort because, well I look more carribean. So from early being African wasn’t a problem caused by my Carribean counterparts but more of my family, particularly my mum and my sister, and here’s where a lot of people struggle in terms of identity.

Language. For my mum and my sister a lot of my Ghanaian pronunciations where wrong. I was trying but I couldn’t get the tone, the accent right. It was always wrong. I was often given the look as the look I give my mum when she tried to drop a bit of slang, it’s out of place. So I have up with the language and fell into the category of “I can understand the language, but I can’t speak it”. Technically, I can I guess, but it was made uncomfortable for me. Made foreign. There’s more on language that further complicates stuff for me but we will get to that a little later.

So with language being foreign to me, and as the saying goes “if you speak to a man in his language, you speak to his heart” I then decided that I wasn’t Ghanaian, I was British – the language didn’t speak to y heart either but I could understand it. But at the next stage I wasn’t allowed that either, because of, well weirdly, Nigerians.

My secondary school, like for many is a place where you find yourself. I was definitely searching for myself, but from a school full of more mix race people, and white people, being in a school full of proud Nigerians was a huge shock to how I would see myself. Many of them embraced being a “freshie”, many embraced the culture, embraced the rivalry with Jamaicans and happy to defend themselves. 

They were proud. Even if they couldn’t speak the language they were proud. For a lot of them, in this country they so long as the direct decent was African, and they were in a country dominated by white people, how could they be British? They have been born here, but they don’t associate themselves with the country in that sense. For a lot of the, there was no way I could be British either, as much of a shock being Ghanaian was for them.

 As the response often was growing up, “yeah I was born here but I’m Nigerian, if a white person asked me where I was from I wouldn’t British, I would proudly say I’m Nigerian, same if a black person, Asian person it any other person”. Excluded from this rule seemed to be American though, where the response would be British, but that tide seems to be swinging.

This kind of pride and passion was something my mum tried to instil in me, although mistakenly, she was the one who took it away. 

The Nigerians reaction threw me in limbo, because I felt like in should be like them, and I didn’t feel comfortable calling myself British, even though earlier I had decided to become British, I felt incomplete, like I was forcing it. They encouraged me a lot of the time to embrace my background.

So through secondary school I was trying to find ways to embrace the Ghanaian side. I wanted to know where I was from, the tribes, my dad’s side my mums, my names, everything (later on I found out the I have 2 names meaning Thursday Yaw and Ekow, being that I was half Fante, something I learned later on). 

But what I found difficult for some was that I wasn’t African enough to be African and British enough to be British. The reason being skin tone, decent and accents. It was a real limbo for me. 

I think the part of my life that threw me was Ghanaian twitter. 

As said before language was something I couldn’t do, I struggled and I was forever put off. I understood (ish) but because of the constant berrating due to my prenounciation I gave up. So I didn’t speak in any. Ghanaian language, never read it, couldn’t spell it. 

So you can understand my confusion to me as a person when I started reading Twi on the TL and understanding it. In my head, accents and all I read it and 9/10 times I could understand it? Huh?

Am I now Ghanaian and no longer British? If language was my main barrier have I now conquered a huge part of it? 

Maybe not for some but for me it was a huge hurdle to over come, because of the seemingly natural way I had overcome it. I never touched a book, or seen the language in writing but I could understand it? That touched my heart

I believe for me I’m part of a dual generation. I love my heritage, I would love to learn the language. But there’s also part of me that knows I can’t avoid there’s a side that’s British, it’s my first language, my only fluent language written and spoken at this moment in time. It has become home, albeit sometimes a foreign home but one nevertheless.

They both may fight against my identity, but both would have to accept, they are part of my make up. I’m black and I’m British.

Pro Black

When I started my more than melanin I had a chat with Gos (who featured in the project) and he told me people don’t so these things because they will be seen as pro black, and pro black to some means anti-white.

I’m not anti-white. I can’t be. The opportunities some have given me and some have helped me with I can’t be against white people. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see the racism and restrictions other white people put on various communities. I’m not blind to that. Or how our education system white washes everything. In the UK the whole concept of go back to your country is flawed because black people settled here with the Romans, but you don’t see your history teacher or horrid Henry teach you about that. I’m anti-lies. I like stories to be told as the truth and real characters to be described as how they should be (if it’s not fiction). So when we talk about Jesus we should acknowledge the picture going around is of a family member of the artist. if he was white, he would of hidden amongst the Romans. Not run from them.

I’m want diversity on screen. It seems small, but maybe people outside of London would see us more than people from a nation called Africa drowned in poverty and Ebola, and all the guys are sexualised criminals and that can’t achieve much. And the girls are ugly but at the same time overly sexualised. And the rich people are all white because that’s what is seen in our reality shows. And people take these shows as a credible, reliable sources of representation of the black community.

I think that hip-hop shouldn’t be changed, and re-wired like rock n roll, and when people say it has black roots, a shocked look appears on their face. Respect the arts, and it’s roots.

I’m also anti-police brutality. If the person is guilty; the police officer doesn’t suddenly become judge, jury and executioner and starts bussing shots to kill.

But I don’t know why because I’m against these things I’ll be classed as anti-white. I just don’t like injustice. Unfairness. Or misrepresentation.

And it happen a lot in the black community. It happens a lot me. So everything positive about my community I’ll be happy about it. And continue to respect other demographics and their struggles at the same time.